It's 9.50am and I'm sitting in a rather silent flat, waiting for the movers to arrive. They should be here any minute now. I called to check what time they would arrive and was told they'd be along after they got the MOT done on the van. So assuming the thing is actually roadworthy they will be here within the next half an hour. I'm still trying to work out if I'm getting a good deal on this, but the people are going to load my stuff and unpack it at the other end so I don't have to worry too much about that. Sometimes little things like that really do make the difference.
It's strange when you look at how you cope. A couple of weeks ago I could barely get myself out of bed and life seemed pretty pointless. I guess it still does seem pointless but the difference is I have to do this. It's not a case of choice, it's got to be done. Actually I'm glad I didn't stay on the extra month here. I am not helping myself just sitting watching the days go by. I need something to change and right now the only thing I can change easily is where I live. So the adventure goes on.
I've still got quite a bit to do here. The stuff I've left to take with me needs packing and the kitchen stuff is going into storage tomorrow. There should only be a small box worth of that and as the deal today involved not carrying any breakable items this way makes more sense. Once that's done I can clean the flat - this shouldn't take too long as I've got almost no stuff here anymore so there are fewer obstacles. I think it'll take a couple of hours but I should be able to get the place looking pretty presentable in that time. My vacuum cleaner seems to be able to suck the dust from between the fibers of a carpet - which is pretty good in my book.
Tomorrow I head for North London and sharing with my friend and as there's not much coming with me so I will lead the simple life for a while. I'm trying not to think of all of this anything more than a necessary transition although deep inside it just feels like failure. Coming here and living on my own was the grand experiment. The final proof that I could stand on my own two feet and face a life on my own. It just hasn't worked out. Circumstances have really conspired against me. It is fair to say that I had little to do with the fact that I was made redundant, or that this place I rent really eats quickly into my financial reserves. Yet still everyone wants to feel that they can tough it out in times like these. Well I haven't been able to and, for all the words of encouragement I receive from my friends it doesn't provide much comfort.
The 13 week review went quite well. The person I met with was quite pleasant and understanding and even suggested I look at vacancies in the civil service. She suggested that with the background I had I could easily find work doing what she did for a living. I suppose it's not out of the question in reality. I've never really seen myself as a government man. They will at least be pleased that the last recruiter to call (yesterday afternoon) has secured me a real live interview. This is the first since April. I have some experience for the job but not masses as its more sales orientated. That said, it is fair to say that as long as the guidelines are clear it should be easy to go in and pick up any training and do a pretty convincing job of it. It's about knowing what you do and being confident. In front of people I can make them believe both of these things.
It's now 11pm and the move has been expensive but rather pain free. There is still the small matter of the kitchen stuff to ship off, the charity shop stuff to donate and my trek to North London. It's off to bed and let's see what tomorrow brings.
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